Bon(e-in) Appetit for Holidays!

For many children Christmas means one thing, presents. Children around the world anticipate gifts from family, friends, and last but definitely not least, Santa Claus. For adults a visit from Santa is always appreciated, however, the joy of eating good food with loved ones takes center stage.

Sharing a meal with family and friends during the holidays is as old as time itself. Even cavemen sat down to get their fill of turkey, prime rib, roast duck with mango salsa, pie, and cookies. The vegan cavemen and cavewomen sat down to enjoy some tofu turkey and other nutty dishes (why are vegetarians always trying to emulate meat dishes if they despise meat so much). So, why is it then, every year around the holidays, some writer or TV producer decides to run a story about eating healthy for the holidays? Are you kidding me?

This is the time of year to enjoy a few extra cookies, or a few extra pounds of cookies. This is the time of year for large rich dinners. Turkey, prime rib, a side of lasagna for the Italian families, meatballs, ham, mashed potatoes, dressing, undressing, cookies, pies, need I go on. Okay, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, pistachio fluff, and more turkey, prime rib, ham, lasagna, meatballs, potatoes, dressing, cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies, pie, pie, pie, and more pie. And not to leave out you wacky vegetarians, tofu turkey, tofu meatballs, tofu ham, tofu, tofu, and more tofu-just eat some damn meat already. Not to forget my friends in Russia and the Ukraine, vodka vodka vodka! It is no secret, Americans tend to over consume, especially when it comes to food. However, this is the time for over consumption, the one time of the year where it is not only accepted, but expected.

Try to enjoy the holidays. You should be counting dollars rather than calories. Also, while your feeding your fat face this holiday season, try to remember those in need, like the starving homeless family staring in your window with tears of horror. Seriously, remember those in need over the holidays, but more importantly, when there are no holidays. And when you see another story about eating healthy or light for the holidays, take it with a grain of salt, and some gravy too.

Just Say No to Gold Diggers

Dear Dink,

I stumbled upon your site sort of by accident. You say you have answers so maybe you can help. I am 24 years old and considered a good looking guy. I work as a video production assistant for one of my local TV stations. I don't make much money but I have a good future as experienced professionals in this industry can make some good dough. I have recently started participating in dating dinners, where young professionals get together for dinner once a week and get to know each other. It is a fairly organized event, we each have 15 minutes to get to know others in a round robin musical chairs type of dinner. This experience has not been very enjoyable for me though. I have participated in two such dinners with very little luck. Often a woman's eyes light up when I tell them what I do for a living, and then I tell them about how much I make and it seems to turn them off. It is not a requirement to talk about our finances, but I have tried to leave this out and that doesn't seem to work either. Should I be doing something differently? Do I make a point not to tell them what I am making? I do have a bachelors degree in Mass Media, it just takes some time to get experience and build a resume in my field. Any advice?

Broke in Minnesota

Dear Broke,

There is only one thing you can do, tell them you are a wealthy Television executive. Just kidding. Continue to be honest with your prospective dates. If they don't like the fact that you aren't making a ton of money at this point in your young career, then you don't want anything to do with them anyway. Many young women today are looking for get-rich-quick men, and they are nothing more than GOLD DIGGERS!

Some would say that women are looking for security when they are looking for a mate, because they want to make sure that they, along with any future children, will be safe and "okay". I can understand this argument for women in their late 30's, but this concept makes no sense "at all" for someone in your age group. I could also understand a woman looking for nothing other than safety and security if this were the 1950's, when women stayed at home to raise the children while the husband went out to earn a living for the family. There is just one problem, this isn't the 1950's! This isn't how our society works anymore. Households today generally have two working adults and pool their wages for the common good of the family. Also, most women are deciding to have children much later than days of old, many waiting until they have finished college and established their careers before deciding to embark on motherhood and in many cases marriage itself.

So the next time this happens flat out call them a gold digger. No wait, don't do that or you will never get a date. These kind of women want it all, they want a man that is going to pull in $50,000-$150,000 per year, plus have their career, and raise a family. This is not reality. No Women, you can't have it all. Hey, try this, build your wealth together rather than trying to strike it rich instantly. It used to be that two people fell in love, got married, and started from scratch, and built their lives TOGETHER.

So, Broke, until you find true love, and someone who is willing to like or love you for who you are, rather than what you can give them, just keep looking. I truly believe there is someone for everyone. If you do find your true love, over time not only will your love grow, but your wealth will as well.

Selflessness in a Selfish World

I recently pondered how people seem to be getting more selfish in an already selfish society, otherwise known as the United States of America. I often feel sick when having to head out into the big bad world in order to earn a buck, just due to the thought of dealing with those who consider their needs before the needs of others. I do include myself in this group of selfish pigs, and I often wonder how we get to the point of not considering what other people might want or need before gratifying our own needs. I believe we are all selfish to some extent, some more so than others. This is after all just human nature. If we did not have a concept of self and a drive to fulfill our wants and needs, how would we as a race survive and continue to improve upon society? In other words this is what makes the world tick.

Success and the thought of success is selfish in nature. Obviously this is not necessarily a bad thing. If it were not for this internal drive we probably would not have many of the things we take for granted in our daily lives. Think of a world with no TV or radio, no internet, no McDonald's restaurants or pizza delivery, no automobiles, life-saving medical devices, and dare I say it, no cell phones, Facebook, or Twitter. Yes, many innovations and enterprises were not born from selfishness but rather the desire to make life better. Examples of "making life better" might be getting from point A to point B with a motorized carriage, or more quickly and easily sharing information between government entities by network computers (the internet). It is, however, those enterprising individuals who made innovations on products such as these in order to make a buck, and many have changed the world as we know it in doing so. Henry Ford innovated the motorized carriage making it possible for almost everyone to get around with horsepower instead of actual horses. Ray Kroc took a simple concept of the drive-in restaurant and built the fast food empire know as McDonald's. Steve jobs innovated music listening and the cellular phone taking not only his company to new heights, but changing the landscape of how we listen to music and communicate. Can't forget companies like Google and Twitter, which are now also known as verbs in our language (google and tweet). You have to admit our advanced society is pretty amazing, as we can talk or send a letter instantly to someone around the world while watching a live football game 30,000 feet in the air on the way to a business meeting in China. The self-drive of human beings, or selfishness, is what has brought us to this grand point in time. That doesn't mean we have to like it though.

People are very wrapped up in they're instant gratification, and we need "it" now!!! Think for a moment about how in the hell we arrived at this point in time. When we need an answer to something fast, most of us turn to Google. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner is served-in lest than 6 minutes at the local fast-food drive-thru restaurant. Need to vent about your boing life or awful boss, you probably already shared this with the rest of your Friends on Facebook or Twitter via your smart phone. Dammit, late again, you mean to tell me it is going to take you 45 minutes to go 30 miles on the expressway with your high-performance Toyota Camry? We need teleportation and we need it NOW!

In thinking about how our self-involved lives seem to be spiralling down the road to eternal damnation, I wondered if there is anyone among us still committing random acts of kindness. Is there anyone left thinking of others before thinking of their own needs? I didn't have to look far to find my answer. My wife is one of those few people who give so much yet get so little in return; and she doesn't expect to get anything in return. She chose to give up her career to stay at home and raise our children. In her words it wasn't a choice but her duty, and she truly believes this. She also believes that people who decide to bring children into the world and continue to pursue their careers are nothing but selfish, that they "don't" have a choice but to work. In her spare time between changing diapers, grocery shopping, and running our oldest to school, my wife continues to give herself to others. She is also a volunteer financial coach for those who are struggling with personal finances. And just the other night she noticed a young mother who looked a little depressed while sitting at a local restaurant at dinner time. My wife, free from being a mother herself for a few short hours, kindly knelt down next to this stranger to ask if she was okay. They shared parenting stories and a mutual understanding of the struggles and pressures of being the main caregiver. Who does that anymore? When is the last time a total stranger just stopped to help, or stopped to ask someone if they are okay? Well, take a look around, and there, hidden among the self-involved rest of us, you just might get a glimpse a living angel. Far and few between, but still out there are those who give so much of themselves to others for no salary, not thanks, no nothing.

Try something new, don't be a selfish pig. Do something for someone else. Put down the damn cellphone, give up the social media (at least for a day if not forever), and try to change the world, one person, one moment at at time. Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for others.

Been a bit busy...

Been a bit busy the over the last year and have not posted any new blogs or advice. My wife gave birth to our 3rd child in February, actually was the same day the Democrats in our state Senate in Wisconsin decided to leave the state and hide, nonetheless a day we will never forget. I am political independent, and was very entertained by both sides of the collective bargaining mess in Wisconsin. When our second child was born it was President Obama's 100th day in office. It was also a day in which the first U.S. citizen died from Swine Flu, and it was the height of the Swine Flu scare. When our 1st child was born in October 2006, the last troops were leaving Lebanon after a mini skirmish of sorts. Don't ask me why I am writing about world events on the days my children were born, just think it is neat looking back in history when on those particular days when my wife and I were a little pre-occupied with something more important.

Now I am going to be fixed in the near future thus preventing any more children being born. Kind of a bittersweet time; on one hand we can start taking vacations and going out to eat as soon as the youngest is out of the baby-screaming phase. On the other hand, it is very sad, even for me as a man and father, knowing that we will not be bringing anymore wonderful children into the world. Three of the little rascals are enough though, and anything more is getting to be a bit selfish and irresponsible in my opinion. We have been blessed with three wonderful healthy children, all with personalities of their own. I thank God for that as we begin the next chapter of our life.

Not quite having a mid-life crises here, just reflecting a bit. I still have about 7years until I reach the second hill in life and turn 40. Not sure how I will react to that when the time comes. I'm not into motorcycles so probably will not be getting a Harley when I turn 40. Not that I have anything against motorcylces, just not ready to be an organ donor quite yet. Maybe I will buy a radio station resume my love of broadcasting full-time. Or maybe I will give my wife and kids a super vacation rather than giving something to myself. Any suggestions?

Weather Balloons Still Causing Confusion

Well, looks like those pesky weather balloons are still causing problems. These obscure tools of science have been used to explain away UFO sightings and government test flights of top-secret experimental aeronautics for over 60 years. The giant wormhole image which was seen over Norway in December is now being explained away as a failed Russian rocket launch.

Those damn Soviets, where's Jason Bourne when you need him. Wait a minute, maybe that wormhole is actually a signal for Jason Bourne, and not a failed rocket launch; kind of like the Bat signal. After all, this image does kind of look like some hip new graphics we might see on a Bourne movie during the opening credits. You don't really think this is a rocket launch, do you?

I'm not saying with absolute certainty that this wasn't a rocket, it very well could be. However, everyone is so quick to explain this away as a rocket or something else we can easily understand, but that doesn't mean they are absolutely correct either. Could it be that a government or governments are testing a new secret technology? We often do not know about secret government projects until years and years after their inception, and that is because they are SECRET. Do you honestly think any government would admit that this was a wormhole, regardless of how it was created? Of coarse not. Although I will admit, I was a little surprised we didn't get the "that was a weather balloon" explanation. How many times in our history science fiction become reality?

Who would have ever thought that: the world is round; we are not the center of the universe; man would fly; man would go to the moon; we would ever invent a weapon that could destroy humanity; you could talk or write to someone who is around the world while at the very same time flying at 500 mph 30,000 feet about the earth's surface; or that we would one day have the ability to track almost every human being on earth? Science fiction may be becoming reality right before our very eyes. I do have one other theory about this image...

it was aliens that created the wormhole, but they aren't coming to destroy planet earth or even to make peace. This was actually another one of Tiger Wood's bimbos, this time an alien bimbo coming to expose yet another affair (three-tited aliens are hard to turn down. Hey, Tiger really gets around.

Was this truly a wormhole, or just another weather balloon, oh, I mean rocket?

Are there really aliens out there?

Will there ever be an end to all wars?

Will the people of Haiti ever recover from what could be the worst natural disaster in recorded history?

Who cares, I just can't wait for the football playoffs to get going again so I can bury my head in that distraction--even though my Packers are done; after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Dink the Shrink

Michael Vick and "The Prescription"

I am going to break from my usual advice column format to comment on the current situation of NFL criminals. First off, I am glad to see that Michael Vick has been given a second chance by both the NFL and the Philadelphia Eagles. What he did was deplorable and disgusting, however, he has served his time, period. We expect convicts to become productive members of society when they are released from prison. There are countless programs to help with just that, so why should Michael Vick be treated any differently? Being a productive member of society for him is doing what he has trained for his entire life, and frankly, is very good at, playing football.


Then there is the case of Plaxico Burress, or "The Prescription" as I like to call him. Mr. Burress was recently indicted on weapons charges stemming from and incident last year when a handgun fell out of his pants in a night club firing a shot into his leg.

Rule #1, don't stick a loaded gun down your pants with the safety off, very stupid (especially for men). Yes, that isn't the brightest thing to do for anyone, especially when a professional athlete of his caliber (no pun intended) injures his leg. Aside from Burress's stupidity, I don't understand why this is such a big freakin' deal. We are guaranteed the right to bear arms by the U.S. Constitution. I know that he did not have a permit for the weapon, and concealed carry is illegal in New York and a felony, but he didn't hurt anyone but himself! Burress did not shoot anyone, stab anyone, or even point the gun at anyone, it was an accident. Although very boneheaded, I just don't see what the problem is. He did break the law, and as with anyone (most anyone) else who breaks the law, he will be prosecuted and punished for the crime. But people are treating him like he killed or raped someone. Do I need to mention Sean Taylor and Darrent Williams?

Sean Taylor was a safety for the Washington Redskins, shot dead in his home. Darrent Williams, a cornerback for the Denver Broncos, shot dead outside of a Denver nightclub. Former Green Bay Packers running back Noah Herron was robbed in his home in the middle of the night; and Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson and his kids were robbed at gunpoint in their home. Fortunately for Robinson and Herron, they are alive to tell about it. My point is that many professional athletes are marked men. They are wealthy, often flashy, and very easy targets because they are in the public eye. I don't blame anyone for carrying a gun for self-defense, especially professional athletes. Anyone who criticizes Plaxico Burress for having a handgun should be ashamed of themselves. New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg should be ashamed of himself for his criticism of Burress, and for pushing for the maximum sentence. Burress faces 3 1/2 to 15 years in prison for his offense. Are you kidding me? How long did Michael Vick spend in prison for his dog fighting ring, well it wasn't 3 1/2 years. Cleveland Brown's receiver Dante' Stallworth only spent 30 days in the hole for killing someone while drunk driving. However, everyone is quick to cast Plaxico Burress into the lake of fire for having an illegal weapon. Now remember, Burress didn't shoot, hurt, or kill anyone else, and he didn't intend to, so what's the damn problem? Problem is we have a bunch of nosey elitest snobs, mainly on the East Coast, who want to turn this country into a nanny state. I applaud Plaxico Burress for fighting the charges, and I hope he wins.

New York City's Mayor and District Attorney are trying to make an example out of "The Presciption" in my humble opinion. Let's face it, they are politician's, and they are trying to capitalize politically on Burress because he is an easy target-much the same way smokers have been demonized in this country for political gain. The Mayor and District Attorney have elections to win, and they need to look tough. Real tough big boys, you go get em'.

Answer me this, what if Brett Favre had dropped an unregistered hunting gun in a hardware store full of people, and the gun ACCIDENTALLY went off hitting him in the leg? Do you think they would bring him up on felony weapons charges in Mississippi? I don't think so. Maybe that is because they are a little backwards down there and protect their good ol' boys, but maybe it is because they are not wealthy over-educated elitist snobs who think they know what's best for the peasant class.

Dink the Shrink

Can I Get a Witness

Dear Dink,

I was dating a Jehovah's Witness and was given an ultimatum. I either convert or the relationship ends. I asked for time to process the religion and eventually was dumped because I couldn't decide in a short amount of time. Did I do the right thing?

Knocking on My (and Heaven's) Door


Dear Knocking,

Let me ask, did this person try to talk you joining a vegan society away from modern civilization? Oh wait, that's what cults do. I'm kidding. First of all, you should never feel pressured to convert to anything, at least not in a free society. Spirituality and religious beliefs are very personal choices and should not be forced or rushed. This person cared more about rushing you to convert to a religion that you are not very familiar with than your relationship, and that speaks loud and clear about how they really feel about you. I do understand the desire of this person to be with someone of similar values, especially the same religious beliefs. I believe over 90% of married couples share the same religious beliefs, but the difference here is that most of those couples shared the same religious beliefs before they knew the other. You absolutely did the right thing here in my humble opinion. You have to do what is right for you and not for a relationship when you are at such an early stage in a relationship. However, do keep in mind that what is best for a relationship often trumps individual needs when it is a long-term committed relationship such as marriage. By the way, if you need to ward off a Jehovah's Witness in the future, just hang some wind-chimes by your front door; I hear they are afraid of wind-chimes.

Dink the Shrink
(Question & my resonse origionally posted on Advice.com, Dink the Shrink holds the copyright per Advice.com's terms and conditions)